Monday, February 21, 2011
Oversigning Is Legal, but Is it Wrong?
Jimmy Threestar is a tremendous football player, maybe the best his tiny South Popcorn High School has ever produced. Young Jimmy ran for 8.2 zillion yards against that top-line tiny-school competition as a junior, threw back six Red Bulls mere minutes before clocking a hand-timed 4.19 40-yard dash (never mind that 35 mph tailwind or that the 40 yards might have actually been 35 ...) and magically became a last-minute 28th signee by Powerful State U. and their Napoleonic coach who owns two national title rings and more enemies than Christina Aguilera at a Francis Scott Key rally.
Young Jimmy Threestar, naturally, is elated. Before his 8.2 zillion-yard season and hand-timed 4.19 40, the closest he could come to being noticed by coach Napoleon and Powerful State would be if he jumped the fence at 149,000-seat Legend-Immortal Stadium and started doing push-ups at midfield during a game.
And now? Heck, he is just happy to be along for the ride -- literally.
Come fall, Jimmy Threestar reports to camp 35 pounds heavier than listed on EagleScout.com and a solid 5 seconds slower than his ArchRivals.net proclamations. He is eggshell-fragile when even blinked at by defenders, is doughy where he should be ripped, and quickly becomes scout team cannon-fodder for the real deals that the coach Napoleon correctly guessed on during the stunted recruiting season.