Filed under: MLS, Chicago Fire, Chivas USA, Colorado Rapids, Columbus Crew, D.C. United, FC Dallas, Houston Dynamo, Kansas City Wizards, Los Angeles Galaxy, New England Revolution, New York Red Bulls, Real Salt Lake, Philadelphia Union, San Jose Earthquakes, Seattle Sounders FC, Toronto FC, Portland Timbers, Vancouver Whitecaps FCMajor League Soccer remains haunted by the ghosts of horrible uniforms past.
The men in the photo to the right, which includes World Cup veterans like Tab Ramos, John Harkes and Roy Wegerle, are wearing the clown costumes designed for the league's inaugural campaign in 1996.
The uniforms (except Harkes') looked like the result of a tragic Spin Art accident or the creations of overly eager, soccer ignorant marketers trying to be outrageous. It was totally xtreme.
They were inspired by branding profiles such as these:
Tampa Bay Mutiny: "The...logo system doesn't have any rebellious sailors. No three-masted galleons. No rolling oceans. Just little green winged cyber-mutants from the dark blue depths of space."
San Jose Clash: "The driving spirit of the San Jose Clash is the scorpion. Quick, lethal and mean ... With shapes and colors that reflect the diverse ethnic makeup and heritage of the Bay Area, the logo system is derived from the soil it represents."
Kansas City Wiz: "Breakaways, bicycle kicks and sprawling headers will be the magic potion of the soccer wizards of Kansas City."
Dallas Burn: "The ... logo system starts with the cowboy of the asphalt West: the loners, outsiders and rebels found on cycle jackets and gas tanks."
Only two logos unveiled that day -- the New England Revolution's and Columbus Crew's -- remain untouched. That's progress.